Spark of madness

No one can make your dreams happen for you. This may be a small, obvious conclusion, but it’s one I came to this weekend: You can’t force your dreams on anyone else either. Sometimes you can’t make them understand the driving undercurrent that pulls you forward toward them– that threatens to suck you under if you ignore it. And what I’ve found? It’s okay that they don’t. Trying to force someone to be as invested in your goals is unrealistic, and actually, sort of selfish. It doesn’t mean their support isn’t there, just that it comes wrapped in a different kind of package. If support comes as a by-product of your work towards a goal, then seize it and appreciate it. But do not count on it or rely on having it in order to find your success, because it isn’t what will make a dream happen. That can only come from you.

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I’ve had three weeks off from competing which has actually been quite lovely. It’s allowed more room for adventures– hikes, time for photographs (and to be be photographed, more on that later), reuniting with friends, beaches, car rides, late nights (sunsets), early mornings (sunrises), celebrations, water & fire, margaritas and too much food. I have a very low threshold for downtime. Free weekends are always jam-packed– nearly every free night of the week too. I’m excited to have even just one day this weekend with Bolt back at a trial. It will come two days before surgery (nothing major, no worries) and maybe will help carry me through two boring weeks of staying bubble-wrapped. I’ll have behave for a while and listen to the doctor when he says to do nothing. Nothing. Not even shower. Gross. I feel the need to cram in as much as I can in these last 5 days before the need to be couch-bound begins.

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I am entered in a string of shows 11 days post-surgery which I’m hoping will not be interrupted because of it. I asked the surgeon last week and he agreed: you don’t run with your arms, do you? (Not entirely true). Perhaps I’ll have to put (Lindsay) Low-hand running to the test, and have someone else tug with Bolt before and after his runs. It’ll work itself out. One way or another, good things are on the horizon for us. We’re closing in on the fancy AKC title, and I’ve entered USDAA shows for this fall for more prep for the spring. We’re practicing international skills a few times a week, jumping 18″. Bolt is looking wonderful. He never ceases to amaze.

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This past weekend also brought with it another opportunity to learn and grow. I had the chance to help volunteer at team USA’s practice in Connecticut on Sunday and it was a day crammed with course building, bar setting, watching & course tear down. Luckily I had my friend and fellow Furby (don’t ask) Carolyn beside me. Always have a person in your life who can make you smile when you don’t feel like it’s possible. I learned a lot from watching these handlers. Of course when I got home I pulled out the four jumps I keep at the apartment and worked on sequences. Courses studied, courses designed, plans made. It was a revitalizing experience. An affirmation of the goal I’ve been chasing and the path I want to be traveling down.

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

-Robin Williams.


Embrace it. Revel in your madness. Do not allow that spark to be shut out. Don’t let anyone stand between you and the goals you’ve made for yourself, no matter how lofty of goal it is, no matter how crazy they think you are for setting it.

Madness will always be necessary to get where you’re going.


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Providence water fire always brings me to tears. Not sure why.

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